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Avoidant Personality Disorder Group

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Requirement for Membership

You are here because you would like to find support and discuss issues related to MENTAL HEALTH and life skills. No spamming, soliciting permitted.


Welcome Newbies & All Members!

Please make sure you've read our list policies
located on the homepage (log in) for this group.

(We have a fb page!
TheAvoidantCommunity on facebook is our sister page. It is a
"closed" inspirations group but you are invited to join. If you wish
to be added, send your information (you must have a
facebook account) and you will receive a notice. Or go to
and sign up.
Thank you ~ Hope to see you soon!)

PLEASE READ. This will help familiarize you with our

only per member.

------ -------- -------- --------- ---------

A-B-O-U-T U-S ~*~

INTRO: This site is dedicated to people seeking Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) support and hoping to be understood. Our community offers acceptance and a place of connection. We are a group of men and women whose lives have been deeply affected by Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Avoidance accompanied by Anxiety Disorder. (The abbreviations AvPD and APD are interchanged. In this context the acronym APD is not to be confused with Anti-social Personality Disorder or Auditory Processing Disorder).
We created this site to help ourselves and others like us with AvPD/APD. *

This condition along with other conditions that may overlap or concur with AVPD and how it affects our lives and coping strategies, is what is discussed here. No 2 people are alike though you may be comforted by many things you find in common with others here that strikes a chord and resonates deeply with you.

(We thank the AVPD page http://www.avoidantpersonality.com for helping to promote the Bigtent site. Permission was given to use part of their page description here.)

*This group also welcomes those with Social Anxiety, Shyness, Social Phobia, Agoraphobia, Panic, Highly Sensitive Persons, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Aspergers and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and other overlapping disorders that hinders functionality in combination to AvPD or APD. The main emphasis of this group is Avoidant Personality Disorder. This group may not be suitable for people with Borderline PD or Bi Polar unless there is a strong co-morbid of AVPD present.

We are growing here at BigTent and the buzz is beginning! So reach out and connect with other people just like yourself. You can join right here and now. Make sure to participate in the discussions or start a new thread on your own. Also take a look at our News and Buzz blog pages for the latest in announcements, articles/posts and threads!
After you are done joining and browsing this support group, don't forget to visit the web pages at http://www.avoidantpersonality.com to browse other supportive resources!
We are glad you are here. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.... :) Keep coming back!! (Interested in joining more than one AVPD group? There's another Avoidant community at: https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/Avoidant/ and please tell them you found them through us!)

**Group POLICIES - All members please read and check back periodically as we may revise guidelines from time to time.

*By joining this group you agree to all list policies.

*We are a moderated forum. We do not allow crude, rude or coarse behavior. Subjects and topics center around mental health support and the discussion of daily living issues and experiences we share as a community. All members are expected to adhere to policies and in becoming a member of this group you agree to respect this format, the policies and observe the following:


*Pending Members please tell us a little something about yourself and why you'd like to join. This is important. You don't have to go into great detail, but we want more than a few lines that don't tell us much if anything. It is of course voluntary but it helps to get an idea (as Avoidants) of the general status of individuals joining our group. For example, not all Avoidants are single, not all are married, not all work but many do. These areas of Avoidants lives may be deeply affected by AVPD. We are a diverse bunch for sure!
Your subscription may not be approved immediately and may pend for a period of time. We are working to cut down the time members may pend. We also stagger memberships. (Note: during maintenance times, during and after holidays and reformatting).

*This AvPD community is volunteer run. We are a support forum only and the group is assisted by experienced volunteers whom also have AvPD. We are not professionals and this forum doesn't advise in a professional capacity. Moderators and Admin of this group are not liable for any issues which arise from joining this group/or in pending memberships or from linking to any offsite forums, groups or organizations. By subscribing to this group, you agree to this and all conditions of membership.

*This group constitutes an online support forum which encourages and challenges its' members in a friendly, engaging environment. We HIGHLY suggest that members seek counsel from a qualified professional outside of this list as it cannot take the place of a qualified professional or of a medically therapeutic routine.

Soliciting Members, Spamming, Joining for purposes of professional research, Personal Contact Info, Group Policies, Member Cancellation:

As of June 2011 we will be using the admin tools that previously we avoided using in our decision making. RE: we are serious about not allowing spammers, solicitors, therapists, researchers, affiliate marketers, writers, gurus, bloggers, pollsters etc., access to these forums for the purpose of self promotion/self-interests/solicitation. Therefore, if we believe you may have another agenda for being at this group we will terminate at our discretion your membership.
*NOTE: If you believe you have something which could be of benefit to this list and its members, contact moderators privately to discuss. SEE MORE on LINKS and SPAM below.


*All MEMBERS: We understand with AVPD it isn't easy to post but what we've found is many members join and lurk and never say a word. This makes a lot of work for mods with little return on the forums, which need activity from a variety of people. The end result is only a handful of people out of hundreds post and of those who respond, even less. It also ends up falling to a handful of people to keep up the posting of topics and this can be draining after a while. *We welcome diversity of contribution here...So please introduce yourself within a week of joining. After that, we suggest posting or responding to posts at least 1 time a week. In between, feel free to lurk, read and enjoy the ongoing discussion and archives. Yes, we understand this might make a newer member struggling with AVPD feel less inclined or more inhibited about being here, but the reason you are here is because of this pattern of behavior; constant observation and scanning of your environment combined with withdrawal creates more inhibition of the social values around you and those you come into contact with. So if not HERE, then where? And if not now, when?

- A SHY HI -

*An idea for posting once a week can be as simple as saying HI, sending a smiley face or a "nod" to a thread and need not be long or detailed. Reading, viewing (lurking) in between your contributions is perfectly fine.


*All new members please refer to our Group Guidelines and Policies here and continue reading the following:

*If you send links to spam or solicit our members your membership will be revoked. We do not permit the promotion of materials for personal profit or using this group for mental health research using the information of members of this group. If you have that intention please leave now. If you are a legitimate and reputable and believe you have something resourceful our group may be interested in, contact moderators offlist to discuss. Link exchanges may also be possible.

*Our group is moderated. Messages will be posted to the boards if they don't contain spam, solicitation or fail to follow the other rules of this group set herein. Posts may be approved instantly or delayed. Moderators keep a close eye on boards to try to deliver posts in a timely manner however keep in mind this is not an *instant chat* and there will be posting delays at different times; The Forums are available for reading and responding 24/7 but posts may not be immediately processed. Please do not send comments or remarks to the boards about the moderation process not being to your liking. Posts about posting policies and list operations will not be approved for on list.

Pending members, your membership has not been forgotten, we stagger membership approvals and the wait time may vary. All Members: use Web-only" settings. We are making changes to forum formats so that we can maximize member participation. To log in go to: http://www.bigtent.com/groups/avoidant
Only one account and ID per subscription is permitted. If you need to change your ID or account email, please let us know.

**Avoidants: Different Ages**

*The majority of members here are adults well over 18. Partners, family and friends of AvPD'ers we welcome you here as well. This group will accept ages 14 and above. However, we require you to consult with your parents before joining. In joining this group you are saying you have your parents permission to be here. (If you are under 14 and here without your parents permission you may contact moderators who will be happy to speak with you but you may not join until you reach the age of 14).

Parents of APD children you are welcome here. *Note to parents wondering if this group is suitable for their teen: We do our best to keep the boards free of unsuitable content. You may see an occasional curse word (we discourage the use of profanity but do not censor bad words unless excessively used) and some subjects may not be suitable for minors. While we permit discussions on s*xuality, we do not allow unbridled language of delicate topics. Most members do *not* use profane language and use discretion in sensitive areas.

More on sensitive subjects:

There are many topic board categories at this group, including one on s**uality. Again, we do not allow offensive content, however, some subjects may be deemed a little advanced or too adult for younger members. All members: we require a decent amount of discretion when posting at certain boards. Understand that some people with traumatic backgrounds may be 'triggered' by certain disclosures. If moderators feel a post does not provide enough discretion (i.e. in s**uality topics) they will not be approved.

Severely Depressed:
*If you are feeling su*c*dal and hopeless please get help and contact 1-800-suicide and 1-800-273-talk and International help: http://www.befrienders.org/
Hearing impaired:For Hearing and Speech Impaired with TTY Equipment:1-800-799-4TTY (4889).

Talk of su*c*de can be an upsetting thing for many people. For this reason we allow only a limited amount of *su***de talk* to take place when a member is feeling bereft of any hope. If you are feeling severely depressed, upset or su*c*dal you will be encouraged to reach out for help. Threads glorifying su*c*dal ideology are strictly prohibited. Moderators may contact you offlist to talk with you further. As a safeguard we may also contact Bigtent, in an attempt to reach a member who appears severely depressed and su*c*dal.

*All members you are required to behave in an appropriate manner. Along with AvPD you may have overlapping issues as many of us do at this group. The main focus of this group is highlighted above in the groups description. If a member appears to have issues outside the scope of our forums theme and these issues are causing conflicts within the group or if a member is NOT suited to the nature or tone of this group and does not appear to have the conditions described within, we reserve the right to cancel the membership.


Privacy is highly valued here. Aliases are suggested. Postings at the forum are the personal property of this group and the original poster.

*No personal contact INFORMATION will be permitted on-list. Full names are not permitted, please use first names or an alias only.
Joining this group with secondary email account (not your main address) is suggested. Phone numbers and email addresses, links and invitations to make contact with other members in posts are strictly prohibited. Displayed email addresses or other direct contact information in PROFILE NOT permitted. Invitations to meet off list are not allowed. At mods discretion, we will only promote off-list meet ups from members who have been long term contributors and are in good standing membership wise. Members Reminder: This is a posting discussion list. We also have a private messaging system that WE, mods, cannot control and have no wish to. However, if a member is being contacted by another member and is feeling uncomfortable, please let us know and we will do what we can to be of help. Please be aware that sharing personal information with people in email may later create problems for your membership. MEMBERS REMINDER: It can be off-putting for all members when a member offers offlist, private conversation in lieu of board discussion. While connection between members is a good thing, do not solicit or invite new members for tentmail contact. Wait and get to know people and give it more time. The balance is in that you are sensitive to both new members and ongoing members who may feel you are leaving them out of a conversation meant for forum discussion. Remember, this is offered as a private group and members may remain anonymous so that on-list discussion still sets a confidential and private tone. If you choose to tentmail with other members, understand that once private, private discussions should NEVER be reposted at group. Note: If you make it a practice to invite any member to private mail, in a group discussion, your membership may be put on hold or revoked.

NOTE: If a person wants or needs more direct contact in tentmail, make sure both parties are OK with it. Do this by sending them a *private* query. Again, it is suggested that a member wait until they are much more familiar with a persons contribution on-list before private contact is made.


Personal links to blogs and websites not deemed suitable (including soliciting to like groups, promoting materials associated with youtube guru's, blogs, newsletters etc) will not be admitted, or will be left to the discretion of moderators. LINKS posted are approved at moderators discretion. If a link has beneficial content and doesn't contain overt products for sale, solicitation, phishing or self-promotion, it may be approved. If it appears a member is excessively posting links to promote self or outside sites, their subscription may be cancelled.


Quoting other peoples intellectual property is fine as long as it complies with copyright laws and the author is credited. This also goes for 'free content' or where the author has since passed away. Using content and passing it off as your own is grounds for membership termination at this group. Reproducing or copying from the personal sentiments of members to post elsewhere is prohibited. If you use another posters content between boards, you must gain permission and credit the source.


This group is rich with many years of archives and a variety of interesting subjects and posts. You may "BUMP" any old post
or thread to make it a "current" thread. You may also respond
to it because if it's interesting to you, it's probably interesting
to others too!

Off-topic or veering threads may be redirected at moderators discretion, if there is an excessive amount of 'offtopic' discussions, HOWEVER... some off topic discussions are allowed and appreciated. i.e., inspirations, humor, hobbies and other personal shares that aren't necessarily "avoidant" in nature but offer variety and connection because WE ARE NOT OUR DISORDERS alone! So please do talk about your interests, hobbies etc.


Over-posting and/or excessive posting of offtopic: There is such a thing as overposting when you post to excess multiple topics in a short period. Please do post but pace your topics so that boards aren't flooded with a tidal wave of topics. (i.e., you post 4 new topics a day but seldom respond to any other topics being posted. Or people respond to your posts but you seldom respond back to replies. This doesn't promote a reciprocal tone. (So please don't ignore people who have responded to your posts as it took them time to think about and the courage to post something back. Also, it's never too late to go back and respond to a thread or a post especially if you missed something which was addressed to you).


Surveys/Polls of a given subject are permitted as a topic for 3 days and then the thread will be closed. POLLS are at the discretion of
moderators. (If no responses were received, wait, then restart a new one a couple of weeks later. Please do not make a habit of "polling" group).


Moderators reserve the right to close threads and revise posting policies to improve the quality of group format. Failure to adhere to policies may end your membership here. Questions about list, policies, posts or moderation please forward to group moderators. Posts about group moderation will not be approved for posting at the boards.
Upon joining this group use 'web only 'for the first 90 days. You can make changes to your setting preferences after this period. (This may soon change).

Do not share personal contact information. Do not share your personal identity, address, phone number or email address onlist. All members are highly discouraged from sharing any of this information offlist as well until you really know a person.

No appearance of SPAMMIMG or SOLICITING on or offlist to members through the BT medium. This includes copy written or affiliate materials. No sending invites & linking to other lists, forums, blogs, webpages. All posts with links will be deleted unless otherwise approved by moderators. NOTE: links to informative articles et al that are not solicitous in nature are allowed at the discretion of moderators.

List behavior should be appropriate to the tone of our group. Please refrain from vulgar language. Light bad words are OK but use asterisks * in place if you are using more profane wording.

Attacking members or mods is not permitted. If there are tensions between members that do not resolve within a few posts, mods will do a 'thread stop' and ask that members refrain from any more posting on the subject.

Threads that create more controversy than is beneficial to the list will be thread-stopped. This is especially true for the spirituality board. Do not send posts that appear to be an attempt to discredit others belief systems. Doing so may be seen as an invitation to debate which is not permitted at this board. Please respect all peoples' right to their own faith and personal philosophies.

Use of Agree2disagree board is intended to help resolve conflict when tensions between members arise. Note: only the two people involved in the conflict are permitted to use the board in an effort to reduce the opinions of others who wish to choose sides. We are promoting neutrality over chaos. Fairness over favoritism. If the situation isn't conducive to promoting member and group harmony, the matter should be taken up privately. Use of "agreetodisagree" boards is subject and should be used with discretion. Disagreements between members should follow proper netiquette for onlist behavior at this group. *Discretion must be used.

You may post on any topic of mental health, bring up new ones or BUMP an old archived thread to the top. Do not use more than two boards to post new threads. Please be conscientious of our lists polices.

Moderators reserve the right to make changes to group policies and to enforce them. Note: There are no mental health professionals or other paid professionals at this list. All mods are experienced volunteers. No discussion or advice given is meant to supplement the expert and professional advice of a mental health therapist or doctor. This list and its' members and moderators are not liable for any mental health crisis as a result of a person’s use of this list. More of the list policies are posted on the front sign in page of this group.

If a member doesn't appear to have AVPD and may have joined for other reasons; using this list to phish for members, spam, soliciting members to join other lists, polling through research, promoting like groups, personal blogs and sites, affiliate linking to promotional materials, behavior at this group which does not promote a healthy list environment, posting contact information in posts or in your profile and continuously ignoring group policies - we reserve the right to remove your membership.

**In becoming a member of this group you agree to the disclaimer and list policies. Moderators and admin reserve the right to make policies and update them.

**The most updated version of this article and these policies are located at https://www.bigtent.com/groups/avoidant which is the sign in page for this group. You may need to review there for the latest revision as the "about" page may not be completely updated. Policies receive updates throughout the year; check back occasionally to review.

You may contact moderators offlist once you've joined by clicking on the "about" tab. At various times moderators may have access to each others admin accounts so that we can help one another out if the other becomes unavailable or busy. If you want to mail something personal and direct to one moderator without another reading, make sure to mark it *personal* and use the persons name. You can also send a private locked message on the board that only admin can see. It will alert us that you want to be contacted.

THaNk YoU!!
All Rights Reserved 2009- 2015.

Recent News

Announcements News

Our sister Avoidant community on Facebook

5/22/2016 (2 yrs ago)

We have a PRIVATE group called TheAvoidantCommunity on FB which is
also known as the "Avoidant Personality Disorder - Social Anxiety and
AVPD Support" group. (There is also another similar 'public' page I
created when trying to figure things out and just left it up - but you
don't have to join that... read more »
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Re: Maintenence Notice

2/7/2016 (3 yrs ago)
1-10-2016 - Some delays may be experienced.
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2/22/2015 (4 yrs ago)
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10/7/2014 (4 yrs ago)
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8/2/2014 (4 yrs ago)